Skillet Bread with Chard, Mushrooms, and Onions

I am running extremely low on food in my house, like there isn't a can of beans or a box of pasta left. Yeah, I have a few zucchini left, but I think that mr might be getting a bit sick of it. (He has had zucchini noodles for lunch and dinner for the past few day). And I was going to go to the grocery store before dinner, but then I didn't. Why? well because I didn't really feel like it.

Turns out that I didn't need to go to the store for dinner.I had a few mushrooms, an onion, and a few stalks of chard left in the fridge. (but pretty much nothing else) I just bought a 25 lb bag of flour so I am all stocked up on that and last minute I found a avocado that I thought was a beet in the fridge. All I needed to make a dinner, and a quick and easy, and really tasty one to boot. Plus being so mother F*ing hot, it was perfect because there was no need to turn on the oven.

Now the question is,now that dinner was made and being that the fridge is so empty, should I clean and defrost it? Answer is yes, yes I should, but am I going to? Probably not. I just don't have it in me to stand in font of the fridge, hacking ice away with a large spoon and boiling water for an hour. It's to hot. I'll do it later.

The stuff. Flour, baking powder, olive oil, salt ans water for the skillet bread. A few humngo stalks of red chard, a couple mushrooms (I would have used a few more if I had them). an onion, and a few cloves of garlic.  Missing is the pepper and the avocado and lemon that I found while rummaging the fridge.

The bread is super easy. Just whisk together the flour salt, and baking soda then add in the oil. Mix until it's crumbly then mix in the water until it turns into a soft dough. Gather into a ball and stick in bowl then into fridge for a few minutes to let the dough rest.

After the dough has rested, take it and cut into 4 equal pieces. Roll each piece into ball and then roll out as flat as you can. Heat up a skillet to high heat and once hot, place rolled out flat onto (dry) skillet. Cook first side for about 3-4 minutes or until browned and cook, then turn heat down a bit, flip and cook other side until browned. Remove bread, turn heat back up, and repeat with remaining flats.

For the rest. Remove the leafy part of the chard and set aside .Thinly hop up the mushrooms, onion, and the chard stalk. Mince up the garlic. Toss it all (not the garlic yet)into a lightly oiled skillet , season with salt and pepper, and cook on medium heat until starting to brown. Now toss in a few splashes of water and the minced garlic, mix around, and cover wit a lid. Cook for another 8-10 minutes until the veggies are nice and soft.

Cooked and ready, but wait, chop up the chard leaves and toss them into skillet. Another splash of water and a few more minutes under a lid will wilt them up real quick.

Skillet beads are made, veggies are all nice and cooked up. The avocado and lemon where found, sliced.

Not bad for a last minute-lean out the fridge of all food-dinner. Not bad at all.

Don't melt

-C

---

Skillet Bread with Chard, Mushrooms, and Onions

Make 4 flatbread

For the skillet bread

• 1 cup all purpose flour
• 1 teaspoon baking powder
• 1 teaspoon salt
• 2 tablespoons olive oil
• 4-5 tablespoons cold water

For the rest

• 2-4 white mushrooms
• 2-3 large stalks of chard (any color)
• 1 sweet onion
• 2-3 cloves garlic
• salt and pepper
• olive oil
• water
• An avocado and a lemon (optional)

To make the skillet bread. Mix together the flour, salt, and baking soda in a large bowl. Pour in olive oil and mix until crumbly then add in 4 tablespoons of water (5 if it seems to dry) until a dough forms. Gather dough into a ball, stick in bowl and cover, and place in the fridge to rest for about 10 minutes. Once dough has chilled, remove and cut into 4 equal sized pieces. Roll each piece into a ball then, on a clean surface, roll out as flat as you can. Grab a skillet and place on high heat. Once skillet has heated up, place a rolled out dough on hot, un-oiled surface and let cook for about 3-4 minutes or until the bottom cooked with golden brown spots. Turn heat to medium and flip bread. Cook the other side for another 4-5 minutes or until browned. Remove flat and turn heat back up. Cook the rest of the bread like the first one.

For the rest. Remove leafy parts of the chard from the stalk and set aside. Take stalk and chop into pieces about 1/ 2 inch think. Slice onion and mushrooms up as thinly as you can. Mince garlic. Garb a skillet, stick on medium heat and drizzle with a little olive oil. Toss in chard stalk, onions, and mushrooms, sprinkle with salt and pepper and mix around until the stuff starts to brown a bit. Add in a few good splashed of water and the garlic and then place a lid on the skillet. Cook for about 10 minutes, giving the mixture a good stir every few minutes. Once the veggies are all soft and yummy, chop up the remaining chard leafs and place them into the skillet. Add another splash of water and place the lid back on. Cook until the leaves have wilted.

To assemble. Flat bread on plate. Scoop some of the sauteed veggie mixture on top. A few slices of avocado on top with a squeeze of lemon juice and a bit of cracked pepper...You are good to go.

Coconut Oatmeal Ice Cream

Whats summer without some ice cream?  That is no summer, that just sounds like Hell. And this past weekend I was pretty sure I was in hell because it was so mother f*ing hot and for a while, I had no ice cream (and no air conditioner)

We used to have an air conditioner. My mom gave us one a few years back because she was worried about washer (so nice she was worried about the dog and not me, but that's cool) And we used it, not often, but when the temps got above 90, we would bust that mother out, hang blankets from the ceiling and create a little frozen ice box. Washers bed, the couch, and the tv were the only things in the box and it was fantastic.We would spend all day hanging out in the dark little ice box, cuddled on the couch watching tv. Washer would just lay there and I am pretty sure that he loved it just as much. But a couple years ago that air conditioner broke so now we don't have one. So now when it's mother f*ing hot, we are just really fucking hot. As for Washer, I send him over to my moms house. She has like 10 air conditioners. And the mr and I.. we bitch and complain and sweat and eat ice cream.

So I made this is my ice cream, a Colleen approved, oh so good I want to eat it for ever meal, type of ice cream. Nice and creamy with nice coconut oatiness. Its really pretty great.

And if there was ever a time when you woke up so hot that all you for wanted for breakfast was ice cream, well that's completely cool, especially with this kind cause it's kinda really healthy and made with oats and so it it definitely ok.

Here's to ice cream all day, every day.

The stuff. We got a can of coconut milk, some old fashion oats, a few dates and salt. ( we need just a pinch) Also need a little water.

Pretty simple here, just dump the coconut milk, oats,the dates(make sure they are pitted) and a pinch of salt to a blender and blend the crap out of it. And keep blending until its all creamy smooth and oh so nice then stick the blender in the fridge.

After about an hour or so the mixture becomes super thick. Stick it back on the blender stand and give it one last swirl to make sure it's all mixed up.

Pour/scrap mixture into a freezer safe container and stick it into the freezer... lick blender clean, watch you tongue and fingers.

After a hour or so, remove the kinda frozen ice cream and give it a good whip with a stick blender or if you don't have, scrap the ice cream back into the blender, and give it a swirl, stick back into freezer container hen back into the freezer until frozen.

And when you are ready to eat, remove from freezer, let sit out for 5-10 minutes to soften enough to scoop and do what needs to be done.

Look at that. So good.

And not only dessert, but this could be your breakfast tomorrow....and every day from now on.

-C

---

Coconut Oatmeal Ice Cream

• 1 can coconut milk
• 1/2 cup water
• 1 1/2 cups oats (gluten free if needed)
• 3-5 dates*
• pinch of salt

*Note. I used 3 dates and found it sweet enough but I don't like things too sweet. If you know you like things sweet, do 5. Also, if the dates are not super soft, soak them water for a little bit.

Grab your blender and place all the ingredients in it. Start blending and blend and blend and blend until all smooth and creamy. (It might take a few minutes.) And once it's all blended up, stick the blender into the fridge .

After about an hour or so the mixture should have gotten nice and thick .Remove and blend the whole thing up once again and transfer the mixture to a freezer safe container. Place said container into the freezer. Let the mixture set up and get pretty close to frozen and remove from fridge and give it another good blend (I use my hand blender, but you can always scoop back into the regular blender to do it) Place back into freezer until frozen.

When you are ready for ice cream, remove for freezer and let sit out for 5-10 minutes until soft enough to scoop.  It might be super hard at first but don't worry, it soften up quick enough. I find scooping it easier with a ice cream scooper dipped in hot water....

Scoop it, add any toppings you want (toasted coconut and toasted oats are great) and then eat it.

Store left overs in freezer (duh) but place a piece of wax paper over the top to keep from freezer burn.

Savory Oatmeal with Mushrooms Onions Chickpeas And Greens

We went from -30 degrees to 50 above in 2 day. What the F! Yesterday the day rained but got nice and warm, then the temperature fell hardl and last light the world started to get so slick and slippery. Going out was getting a little scary because of the ice. I went to bed a little afraid that I have to leave the house today for fear of slipping and smacking my face. It's a real fear and I know its bound to happen. I can already picture it, me walking along, maybe whistling a little tune, and smack, just like a cartoon character slipping on a banana peel.  I will go down fast and hard. I am not a graceful person.

But the day is going to happen and I have things to do that involve leaving he house.. I have the arnica and frozen peas ready just in case, but I might just leave on my hands and knees.

Enough about my irrational (but totally rational) fear. Lets talk about food. I am already thinking ahead to dinner. Or more like I am thinking behind to last nights dinner of oatmeal. A grain typically used as a breakfast food, cooked until light and fluffy, topped with sugars and fruits and sweet things.  Oatmeal for breakfast is always welcomed and always will be. But today my friends I am going to blow your mind and tell you to eat your oatmeal at dinner time,with salt and pepper and lots of yummy savory beans and veggies. 

Pow!

But doesn't make complete sense? Oats are so good, hearty, heart healthy, and pretty freaking cheap. Easy to cook, goes with everything. It's almost like rice, but I find is even more filling and contains more protein. Have no idea what to do for dinner. Grab the oats and a can of beans! Had a long day at work and just want something quick and easy and comforting. Oats with a bunch of veggies!  You can pretty much do anything with a bowl of oatmeal and it will be good. (tomato sauce, crispy tofu, a fried egg, cheese if you like.. you get the idea) It seems weird to me now that people all over are not eating oatmeal for dinner all the time.... yet. I have a strong feeling that everyone is going to be eating savory oatmeal for dinner very soon, so I am giving you the heads up so you can jump on this wagon now!

The stuff. A big cup of old fashion oats, a few mushroom, an onion, some cooked chickpeas, a clove or two of garlic and a mound of chopped greens. And we are going to also need a little olive oil, balsamic vinegar, salt and pepper and, if you have any, a small handful of cashews (or any other nut).

Begin by dicing up the onion and the mushrooms nice thing ans tossing them into a skillet with a touch of olive oil. Stick the skillet on the stove on medium heat and begin to cook.

When the veggies are on the stove, bring 2 cups of water to a boil, sprinkle it with salt, then dump in your oats. Give the oats a quick stir, then tun the heat down to medium and place a lid on the pot and leave it alone.

Once the veggies have cooked down a bit, mince up the garlic and toss into pan, along with the chickpeas (drain any liquid). Add a good glug glug of balsamic vinegar and continue to cook on medium heat until everything is nice and cooked and golden brown and tasty.

And lastly, toss in the chopped up greens and stir around until wilted.

And i bet that your oatmeal is done by now, cooked until oats are soft and the water has absorbed.

And the veggie bean mixture is ready.

A big heaping scoop of oatmeal, sprinkled with salt and pepper, and topped with a hearty heap of the cooked veggies and chick peas. Adding a few chopped nuts on top and another glug of vinegar.... It's the most perfect meal.

Happy Wednesday and watch you footing!

-C

---

Savory Oatmeal with Mushroom Onions Chickpeas and Greens

Serves 2

• 1 cup old fashion oats
• 2 cups water
• 1 cup or so of cooked chickpeas
• small onion
• 3-4 large white or cremini mushrooms
• 2 big handfuls of chopped greens (kale,spinach, collards, or broccoli leaf.. whatever greens you got!)
• 1-2 cloves garlic
• balsamic vinegar
• olive oil
• salt and pepper to taste
• handful of cashews or some other nut (optional)

Start by chopping you mushrooms and onions and tossing them with splash of olive oil into a skillet. Sprinkle with salt and pepper and Begin to cook on medium heat.

Grab a heavy bottom pot ans bring the water to a boil. Once boiling, dump in the oats, add a pinch of salt, give a little stir and reduce heat to medium low. Stick a lid on pot and leave it alone for about 10 minutes.

Once the mushrooms ans onions are starting to cook down, mince up garlic and add in, along with the chickpeas (drained of liquid) and a few tablespoons of the vinegar. Continue to cook until the veggies are browned, the chick peas are hot, and everything tastes good (give it a taste) Lastly, add in the chopped greens and stir around until wilted.

And the oatmeal should be done. (it;s done when its nice and light and fluffy and that water has absorbed)

Grab a bowl, add a big scoop of the oatmeal, sprinkle with salt and pepper, top with a large amount of the veggie bean mixture and top with another glug of vinegar and some of those cashews all chopped up.

Grab a fork or a spoon and eat your oatmeal!

Carrot Cranberry Walnut Cinnamon Buns With Clementine Glaze

The other day I had me a humongo stack of paper work that needed my immediate attention, like a really big stack, full of bills, notices, and time sensitive material. So I decided that the best way to go get through all the papers was to stop and make cinnamon buns, cause that was what I really really needed to do (so not really)

I admit that I do thisoften. Not that I completelyignore or neglect adult tasks (sometimes adult-ing sucks) but I am a expert at the art of procrastination. But I am strategic about it. Like these buns. I made sure that what I was baking was yeasted so I had a time frame to work by. I make dough, let it rise for an hour and in that hour I have to do work. Then I roll out dough,fill it, let rise again, and in that time, more work. Buns go Into the oven, and whilethey are baking, still working. See, it totally makes complete since and can even be kind of fun (and messy. Papers and sticky dough and sugar everywhere!) I recommend to anyone that is having a hard time focusing on somewhat tedious tasks to bake some buns while doing said task. It really makes it easier, plus, at the end of said task there are buns to eat. Win win!

Anyway, no matter the means to the buns, the end was what we are looking for. These buns, well what can I say. Everyone that ate them went nuts for them. Even my little (gigantic, 18 year old) brother who doesn't like anything, especially anything with carrots in it. (he ate 2) And the little, they got down with them too, although they picked out the bigger chunks of cranberries (they don't know better) So yeah, these buns are fantastic for all around happiness and for getting paper work done.

To the bun making!

The stuff. Flour, sugar, almond milk, salt and yeast. A couple of carrots, some cinnamon and ginger, earth balance. And finally, fresh cranberries and walnuts.

First thing that needs to happen is that the carrots need to be chopped up and stuck into a pot, ans boiled until tender.

Then those cooked carrots need to get blended up intoa nice, mostly smooth puree.

Carrot puree goes into a bowl (still warm) along with the earth balance.  Let it kinda melt. Then add in a bit ofsugar and cinnamon, andthe yeast. Mix it all up and set aside for a few minutes until the yeast is clearly activated (starting to bubble a bit)

Now add in the flour. Start with the lowest amount and add in a little bit more until you get to a good doughy, slightly sticky dough.

And for my favorite part, dump the dough onto a floured surface. Have about 1/4-1/2 cup of flour off to the side and start to knead the dough, adding a little more flour to the surface every time it gets sticky.

After about 5 minutes,, the dough should look something like this.... Not to sticky, but not dry. A little glossy and elastic-y.. All ready to rise.

Stick dough back into the bowl and rub down with at little oil. Cover with a towel and place in a warm spot to rise (about an hour)

Sometime while that dough is rising,  prepare the filling. Chop up the cranberries and walnuts into little (or big, or medium) pieces and stick into a bowl with the cinnamon, ginger, earth balance and sugar. Mix it all together and set aside.

Pretty dough, all doubled up in size

Take the dough and roll it out onto a lightly floured surface. You are looking for a rectangular shape that is about1/2inch thick.

Once rolled out, spread the filling all over the dough ( I found my hands worked the best)

And roll the dough onto it self, cut in half, then scoreand cut the two halves into equal sized pieces (I did 7 each, but could get away with 8)

Place the buns into greases 9 inch round cake pans, (or whatever pans you want to use) cover, and let sit for about another 20 minutes for the second rise.

Note... If you want,  at this stage, take one of these pans wrap it up in plastic ans stick it into the freezer for another day. (that's what I did). When you are ready to bake them, just remove from freezer ans let the dough coke to room temperature.

Look at those buns all cozy and snug. Now into the oven they go!

So while the buns are baking, grab some powderedsugar and a clementine   to make the glaze. All you need to do is add the juice to the sugar until you get a good gooey, not to thick, not to watery consistency.

And after about 35minutes in the oven, these buns are done! Grab them out of the oven.

Let the buns cool for a bit then drizzle on a bit of glaze. And let cool a little longer and add some more. (add as much or as little as you want)

And look at that, ooey, gooey goodness. The product of my severe procrastination.

Hope you folks are having a great week! Maybe we will get lucky around here and get some snow soon!!!!

-C

---

Carrot Cranberry Walnut Cinnamon Bun with Clementine Glaze

Makes 14-16 buns

for the dough

• 3 1/2-4 cups all purpose flour
• 1 cup milk (I used almond, but any milk works)
• 2-3 carrots (need 1 cup of carrot puree)
• 1 teaspoon salt
• 2 teaspoons yeast
• 3 tablespoons earth balance
• 1 teaspoon cinnamon
• 2 heaping tablespoons sugar

For the filling

• 1/3 cup sugar
• 2 heaping tablespoons cinnamon
• 3 tablespoons room temperature earth balance
• 1 teaspoon ginger
• 1 cup cranberries
• 1/2 cup walnuts

for the glaze

• a clementine
• about 2 cups of powdered sugar

First off, chop up the carrots and boil them until tender, then puree them into a pretty smooth consistency. 

Once you have the carrot puree, and while its still warm, add in the earth balance and mix it in till its melted. Then add in the almond milk, sugar and yeast. Mix all together and set aside for a few minutes until the yeast is visibly activated. Add in the salt and the flour and mix together until the dough is starting to pull form the bowl. Dump dough onto a floured surface and flour your hands cause you are now going to knead the dough for about 5 minutes. Have about a 1/2 cup of extra flour near by to flour the counter as you are kneading. The dough is good once it starts to look glossy ans is no longer sticking to the counter and has a bit of elasticity to it.  Place dough into a bowl, cover with a little oil, then cover bowl with a towel. Place bowl in a warm place to let dough double in size (about an hour.

While the dough is rising, chop up the walnuts and cranberries and mix together in a bowl with the sugar, cinnamon, ginger, and the earth balance. Set aside.

Once the dough has doubled in size, dump dough back onto a lighty floured surfave and roll out into a big rectangle about 3/4 inch thick. Grab the filling and spread evenly all over the dough. Starting at the closest end to you, roll the dough up length wise, somethat tightly, until the doeugh is completely rolled. Cut in half then cut each half into 7-8 pieces that are about the same size.

Grab two 9 inch cake pans (or pans of similar size), give them a good greasing and place the buns into the pans. Cover the pans and set aside for another 20ish minutes to rise again!

Note... If you want to just bake off one batch, just stick the bun, wrapped in plastic, into the freezer at this point. When you are ready to bake them off, just remove from freezer and let the dough comet o room temperature.

Preheat the oven to 375.

Once the dough has risen again (they dont exactly double, butthey get pretty big) place the buns into the oven. Bake until the buns are nice and golden brown, about 35 minutes,

While buns are baking, make the glaze. Powdered sugar in a bowl and whisk in the juice of the clementine. if its to thin, add more sugar, and to thick, add more juice.

When the buns are done baking (you can also check with an instant read therometer that reads 190) remove from oven and let cool in pans. Drizzle the buns with the glaze, while still slightly warm. Let coolsome more and then drizzle a bit more on top. Serve right away.

Note

Honey Mustard Pretzel Popcorn

What are you going to be doing this weekend? Are you dressing up all crazy, taking a little or two door to door for bite sized pieces of candy, or are you maybe giving out candy? Are you going to some spectacular Halloween party, or are you thinking more tricks then treats and are planning on TP-ing the neighbors or creating some mischief around town. 

Whatever you are doing, it's sounds like it's going to be a blast. Just note, if you are being mischievous  don't be an asshole about it. Stealing candy from kids is wrong,(steal your candy from adults) and TP is cool but spray paint and things that are permanent are not. And stay away from my houses! 

Anyway, the Halloween situation  is always the same with me and the mr. We say that we need to do something fun and different every year. Maybe a party, or even just some human intreat ion. But just like every year, we give in to our inner hermits. Our Halloween night will be as followed: Lock ourselves in the house, drawing the shades,(note that we would totally give out candy, but our door is down a very narrow and dark driveway, behind a fence, and pretty much inaccessible to people) watch a movie  (thinking Donnie Darko or maybe even old reruns of Halloween Rosanne.) eat popcorn,and go to sleep at a very reasonable hour.  And now that I say it out loud, our evening sounds like the most perfect way to spend the night. Especially because of the popcorn.

Let's just stop and think about this popcorn a minute……...

Ok, so do you get it now?. This is an epic popcorn combo. Mustard is for everything. A slightly sweet honey mustard all drizzled on  popcorn, well that's just craziness. And if you are like the mr., the pretzel crumble just takes it over the top. If we had made plans, I would probably have to cancel just so I can stay in an eat this popcorn.

And I have a hunch that this flavor combination will pair very well with a handful or two of some halloween candies. 

POPCORN TIME!!!!!

The stuff. A big ass bowl of air popped popcorn.  Spicy brown mustard (can use any mustard) honey (can use maple) a little olive oil and a few pretzel sticks. (can use any pretzel shape you like)

Bag the pretzels, grap something heavy (rolling pin works great) and smash the pretzels into tiny little bits.

Just like this

In a little pot ) mix mustard, oil and honey together. Place on medium  heat and mix continuously until the mixture is hot and a nice liquid pourable consistency. 

Now you can do this any way you want, but my way is probably the best. Dividie popcorn in two bowls and drizzle each bowl with equal amounts of mustard sauce.

Flip one of the bowls ontop of the other and shake the crap oiut of it.(or until the popcorn is evenly coated)

And the popcorn is all nice and evenly coasted. Now dump in the crushed pretzel and repeat the double bowl shake.

Check it out… Some fantastical popcorn

Now don't you want to turn the lights off and snuggle on the couch with this bowl?

Share if you want, but hey, it's just popcorn so you can taotally eat it all yourself. 

Happy Friday.. And Happy Halloween

-C

---

Honey Mustard Pretzel Popcorn

makes 10 cups (enough to share between 2 people)

• 10 ish cups of air popped popcorn
• 3 tablespoon spicy brown mustard
• 2 tablespoons honey (sub maple or agave if vegan)
• 1 tablespoon olive oil
• 3-4 pretzel rods (or whatever shape) which makes about 1/2 a cup smashed (use gluten free if needed)

Take pretzels and place them in a bag of some sort and using something heavy (like a rolling pin) smash the pretzels until they are a smallish crumb (some big shanks are good too)

In a small sauce pot, combine the mustard, honey, oil, and mix to combine. Stick pot on stove and heat on medium until sauce is hot and liquidy. (can get the same result by using a microwave safe bowl and sticking it in a microwave at 20 second intervals until  hot)

Evenly distribute popcorn into two big bowls. Take the warmed up sauce and drizzle all over popcorn in  each bowl the, for the fun part, flip one bowl onto the other and shake the popcorn all around to evenly coat. Remove a bowl, toss in the pretzel crumbs and pieces and place the bowl back on. Shake again.

Popcorn is ready, now eating it!